A HUGE Milestone.

Not for the kids, but for me. I have many, totally irrational fears that cripple me at times. Flying, spiders, snakes, The Candy Man and tornadoes. My biggest fear of all is the dreaded porta potty.

To make a very long, expensive therapy session short...lets just say I would rather wet myself and then walk through a crowded football stadium, than use a porta potty.

After about five seconds in the car tonight Dylan informed us that she had to go potty. This was infuriating to me because I asked her multiple times before we left school if she had to go. She insisted that she did not.

When we arrived at the gas station we found that their restroom was "Out of Order." So we marched outside while she protested, "But mommy I really need to go potty." That's when out of the corner of my eye I see it calling my name. The dreaded portable toilet of death.

I walk back to the car and ask Bryan if he can take her to the porta potty. He refuses and tells me to just go, "You can do it." I shudder as I turn to walk to the blue monstrosity the next parking lot over. As Dylan and I are walking I brace myself for the urine/vomit/shit smell that is awaiting me. When we are just feet away from the toilet a rather large man slams the door shut to the porta potty.

"This is not going to be good," I'm thinking to myself. When finally we arrive at my Nemesis, I open the door and Dylan asks what it is. I fight trying to tell her how horrific and disgusting these things are and say, "It's a toilet." I helped her onto the toilet all the while keeping half my body outside the porta potty.

Yes that's right! I made my 4 year old daughter pee in a porta potty, in the middle of a parking lot, with the door wide open. All because I was scared to close the door and go inside. Either way I'm declaring today a victory for me!

Although, you still couldn't pay me to pee in one of those things.

My Three Biggest Irrational Fears

This is an entry that I posted a few months ago on a different site. I figured since I just recently started my blog that I wanted to post it again. It's my blog I can post what I want! There are three completely irrational things that strike fear into my heart like nothing else: flying, tornadoes and porta potties.

First off flying. I know that there are many people with me on this one. Now I know that I'm more likely to die in a car crash than from crashing on an airplane, but whenever I'm about to fly on a plane I'm a nervous wreck for a week before. I'm pretty sure the fear started my first year of college when I was flying back for Christmas break from Laramie, Wyoming to San Diego. Now Laramie is a REALLY small town with an even smaller airport. I used to tell myself that I would never fly on anything with propellers, well what do you know, when I walked out of the terminal there sat my 15 seat propelled chariot awaiting my arrival. Oh & it didn't get any better from there on out. Five minutes after take off all of the lights went out on the plane & it was pitch black (don't know if that was supposed to happen or not, but it did) & then I was pretty sure we were going to drop right out of the sky at least 3 times. That was the bumpiest flight I've ever been on. The flight was only from Laramie to Denver (thankfully when I got to Denver I got to fly on a REAL plane the rest of the way to San Diego), but that flight felt like it took an entire life time! Lets just say that since I've turned 21 flying has been made manageable!

Next would be the tornadoes. I've always been a fan of "The Wizard of Oz" so I know that is not where I get this fear from. I owe this fear to the great states of Kansas & Oklahoma. When I was 8 we moved to Witicha, Kansas. Well one night after we'd been there for about 2 weeks my brother & I were getting ready for bed and suddenly I heard this noise from outside that sounded like we were smack in the middle of a WWII movie and we were about ready to get bombed. My Mom told us it was a tornado siren and we needed to get down in the basement. Well my Dad have a different idea. If my Mom tells you the story my Dad decided he was "Going to be like all the other neighborhood idiots and stand out on the porch and watch for the tornado". So my brother & I are sitting down in the basement with no idea what's going on while my Mom is screaming at my Dad "You better get your dumb ass down here before you get killed"! When we lived in Oklahoma we didn't have a basement, which I still don't know why because we lived smack dab in the middle of tornado alley...hello somebody should have re-thought the housing design on that one. And our basement had a skylight so that left our tiny tiny doll house sized hall closet as the only shelter from tornadoes. Lets just say I have too many memories of being woken up in the middle of the night and crammed into this closet with my Mom, Dad, Brother, our 2 dogs & 3 cats.

Finally the irrational fear above all others. The thing that sends shivers up my spine by simply mentioning its name...the dreaded porta potty. I can't tell you when I became afraid of this ugly blue stinky, claustrophobic contraption people call a bathroom, but I can tell you it's pretty much been my entire life. Every time I step foot in one my eyes start to water & it's not just because of the smell. When I was in elementary school & went to girl scout camp I refused to use the porta potty & I was there for a week. Now that's not to say I didn't try, I just peered down into that black smelly hole & thought a snake might be down there waiting to bite me. Oh & anybody else remember the X Files episode with that faceless freaky creature that lived in a porta potty...only confirmed that fear in my mind! Another time I was on a road trip with my grandparents and we stopped for a picnic & of course the only restroom in site was my favorite blue monstrosity. I figured I was 18 is was time to get over this childhood fear. So I walked in peeked into the black hole & it wasn't as big as I remembered it being when I was a kid (kinda like the characters at Chuck E. Cheese, they seemed a lot bigger when I was small). So anyways I got my circle butt toilet seat protector & prepared to squat. My paper didn't just fall in, that damn porta potty sucked that thing deep into its bowels (excuse the pun). I went running out of there while I was still pulling my pants up! To this day I still can't bring myself to use one of those things. When I was 8 months pregnant with Justin we went hiking and that kid was jumping around on my bladder like it was a trampoline. So I gave myself the pep talk of all pep talks "Jenni, you're 27 it's time to start acting like a grown up!" I marched into that porta potty ready to show it who was boss. So much for that, my bladder was locked up tighter than Fort Knox. Another win for the porta potty.

There are so many other irrational fears that I have that I could go on for days, but I'll spare you and just leave you with my top 3.