Have you ever thought to yourself, "Shit, now I'm that mom!" Well, I have way too many times to count. Tonight I won't be surprised if I end up staring at myself on the 5 o'clock news, with a look of murderous intent in my eyes. What happened you ask? Oh, come and sit a spell won't you? You're going to freaking love it.
I decided after I picked Dylan up from school today that I would take the kids to the library. A terrible idea from inception, but it was something I had to risk. The whole time in library was a goddamn nightmare. My kids couldn't use an indoor voice if their lives depended on it. All I wanted was one book, one stupid freaking book! They couldn't even let me have five minutes to enjoy my personal nerd heaven. They were rolling around on the floor, jumping up and down like damn rabbits, giggling like freaking psychopaths and racing down the aisles (I was tempted to clothesline one of them but though that might be a bit excessive).
On top of this moronic behavior, my library sucks. This is the millionth time I've been there and can't find even one book by an author that I like. Of course today's visit wasn't any different. I went with the titles of five books that I really wanted, figuring at least one of them would be there. Oh what a fool I am. Why would a thing called a Library actually be filled with books that I'm interested in?
The icing on the cake for today however, was when I went to do self check-out I noticed I had a fine. So now I had to go stand in line, try and corral these two circus clowns, and argue over a dumb ass library fine. They had progressively gotten louder and louder and louder during this time. Every time I tried to talk to them about their behavior they would just erupt in more fits of laughter. I tried standing between them, wouldn't work. It's like they know being in public is their safety zone to act like crazies and they can get away with it.
So, I'm trying to argue with this girl about my $1.65 library fine (I turned those stupid ass books in on time, it's not my fault some dumb shit forgot to check the outside return area before he went home to play World of Warcraft). At this point I can feel the eyeballs of the judgmental person waiting behind me, boring into the back of my skull. I can almost hear her thoughts:
"God, can't this woman control her kids? This is a library for heaven's sake! If she doesn't know how to deal with kids she should never of had them."
Justin will not stay away from Dylan and Dylan keeps trying to get him to run over to her. I can't get these kids under control for anything. In a moment of sheer desperation I corner him against the counter with my leg, bend down and angrily whisper in his ear, "I swear to god Justin if you don't stop it you are going to get the biggest spanking of your life when we get home."
In response, he picks his head up and says in a sing-song voice, "What's the biggest spanking of my life?"
I think it was at that point I said, "I'll just pay the stupid fine," and tried to keep from screaming like a maniac at the top of my lungs. Justin managed to wiggle free, but I pinned him again and he continued to laugh. Little nerdette took forever to scan my books, because I know she (like my kids) was enjoying watching my sanity unravel right before her very eyes. I angrily snatched my books off the counter and stormed out of the library with my kids hot on my heels in hysterical fits of laughter.
Dylan & Justin: 8,000
Public Library: 1
Mommy: 0
Showing posts with label embarrassment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embarrassment. Show all posts
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
No longer a virgin.
That's right ladies and gentleman, I'm no longer a virgin, a public temper tantrum virgin that is. I'm no stranger to my kids acting up in public, some of you may even of read about a recent Target experience. But last night I was officially inducted into the embarrassment hall of fame.
We went out to dinner last night with family and brought Dylan with us. We left Justin with my mom because it was just easier that way. After dinner we took her into Geppetto's, a toy store, which was close to the restaurant. I should of turned and ran while I still had the chance. All of the toys were easily within her reach and there was a Thomas the Train track set out for kids to play with. All of these things screamed at me "This is a disaster waiting to happen!" Dylan was being so well behaved though, holding her Auntie's hand and asking about the waiter we had at dinner, I thought everything would be fine.
Everything started out that way, until it was time to leave. Dylan had made her way over to the Thomas the Train set and we were all ready to leave. I told her she could go a pick out a couple of little plastic zoo animals and then it was time to leave. Nothing, she didn't even acknowledge me. So I tried again, and again nothing. I then went up to her and told her it was time to leave and she could either come with me and hold my hand or I was going to pick her up and drag her out of the store. Nothing, so I took a deep breath, picked her up and so the nightmare began.
She started kicking and screaming "Get me outta here, let me down!" I walked past Bryan and said "Her shoes are back there somewhere grab them we're leaving." I tried talking to her outside of the store but she wouldn't stop screaming at me, "I want a toy." Then that's when the hitting began. Bryan took over at that point and we started the long march back to the car.
The kicking, screaming and hitting continued with Bryan. We tried sitting her down again, to talk to her and get her to calm down. It was at that moment I noticed a man sitting in his car staring at us. While we were trying to talk to her I could just feel his eyes burning holes through me and just waiting to see how these "horrible parents" were going to handle this situation. There was no reasoning with this child at this point she was too far gone in her tantrum, so we continued on through the parking lot with eyes all over us. I could almost hear the voices "Look at them, look at their kid. Oh my god what are they doing to that poor kid?"
We finally made it back to our car and I thought things at that point would be okay. Oh no, why would they be? We then we had to wrestle her into her car seat. Let me tell you that kid is freakishly strong. If Bryan hadn't been there I don't know what I would of done. I wouldn't have been able to carry her from that store all the way to our car, while she was having a wild tantrum. And I know I wouldn't have been able to get her in her car seat. She finally stopped screaming about 5 minutes from home. I turned back to see if she was asleep, nope we just had one very pissed off child in the back seat.
After it was all over and we were back home, Bryan told me, "You did good, you didn't give into her or give her what she wanted even though she was throwing a fit." Deep down I know he's right and I'm proud of myself for that. I know there are some parents who would have caved and given their kids what they wanted just to save themselves the embarrassment of a public tantrum. Still for some reason I can't shake the "I'm a failure" vibe today.
We went out to dinner last night with family and brought Dylan with us. We left Justin with my mom because it was just easier that way. After dinner we took her into Geppetto's, a toy store, which was close to the restaurant. I should of turned and ran while I still had the chance. All of the toys were easily within her reach and there was a Thomas the Train track set out for kids to play with. All of these things screamed at me "This is a disaster waiting to happen!" Dylan was being so well behaved though, holding her Auntie's hand and asking about the waiter we had at dinner, I thought everything would be fine.
Everything started out that way, until it was time to leave. Dylan had made her way over to the Thomas the Train set and we were all ready to leave. I told her she could go a pick out a couple of little plastic zoo animals and then it was time to leave. Nothing, she didn't even acknowledge me. So I tried again, and again nothing. I then went up to her and told her it was time to leave and she could either come with me and hold my hand or I was going to pick her up and drag her out of the store. Nothing, so I took a deep breath, picked her up and so the nightmare began.
She started kicking and screaming "Get me outta here, let me down!" I walked past Bryan and said "Her shoes are back there somewhere grab them we're leaving." I tried talking to her outside of the store but she wouldn't stop screaming at me, "I want a toy." Then that's when the hitting began. Bryan took over at that point and we started the long march back to the car.
The kicking, screaming and hitting continued with Bryan. We tried sitting her down again, to talk to her and get her to calm down. It was at that moment I noticed a man sitting in his car staring at us. While we were trying to talk to her I could just feel his eyes burning holes through me and just waiting to see how these "horrible parents" were going to handle this situation. There was no reasoning with this child at this point she was too far gone in her tantrum, so we continued on through the parking lot with eyes all over us. I could almost hear the voices "Look at them, look at their kid. Oh my god what are they doing to that poor kid?"
We finally made it back to our car and I thought things at that point would be okay. Oh no, why would they be? We then we had to wrestle her into her car seat. Let me tell you that kid is freakishly strong. If Bryan hadn't been there I don't know what I would of done. I wouldn't have been able to carry her from that store all the way to our car, while she was having a wild tantrum. And I know I wouldn't have been able to get her in her car seat. She finally stopped screaming about 5 minutes from home. I turned back to see if she was asleep, nope we just had one very pissed off child in the back seat.
After it was all over and we were back home, Bryan told me, "You did good, you didn't give into her or give her what she wanted even though she was throwing a fit." Deep down I know he's right and I'm proud of myself for that. I know there are some parents who would have caved and given their kids what they wanted just to save themselves the embarrassment of a public tantrum. Still for some reason I can't shake the "I'm a failure" vibe today.
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