Thursday, June 7, 2007

What is my dream trying to tell me?

Last night I dreamed that I was pregnant again. I just had this feeling, I took a test and it came out positive. I told my husband and we went to see Dr. S and he was getting ready to do the sonogram and the damn alarm went off.

My dreams are always very dream like: weird colors, I have some sort of super human strength or can run really fast, people are always distorted in some way or I can't make out faces. This dream was different, it seemed as if it was actually happening. Sure it jumped around a bit, but nothing strange or out of the ordinary was happening, I mean even my husbands face looked normal. It was so real that when the alarm woke me up I touched my stomach and actually thought for a moment that I was pregnant again. Then I realized that it was just a dream and I got a little sad.

Why though, I keep asking myself. My husband and I have talked over and over about whether or not to have another baby. "We have our perfect pair, a boy and a girl," he's told me whenever I've toyed with the idea in the past. In fact recently we had a long talk about it and decided that we are done having kids and I was okay with it. I don't know why this dream has me so upset, I just can't shake it. Maybe it's because Justin is almost 10 months now and I feel like he's not my baby anymore, maybe I'm hormonal who the hell knows.

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